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The 8 Best Reasons To Put A DJ In The Toronto Mayor’s Office

Dan Jacobs

Rob Ford, the crack-smoking Mayor of Toronto, has been losing staff left and right since word of his skid-row behaviour came down the pipe in May. And now that Toronto City Council has given all his power (and budget) to the Deputy Mayor, everyone else has jumped ship. But there’s a bright side. Rob Ford has a new right hand man and he’s a DJ! Why is that awesome? Here are the 8 best reasons to put a DJ in the Toronto Mayor’s Office.

8. DJs know how to work a crowd. Aside from the drug use, Ford is best known for yelling, arguing and basically being a jerk. He’s not great at making friends. But a DJ knows how to bring everyone together.

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7. Rob Ford’s been known to have after-hours parties in his office. Now he’s got a selector!

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6. No need to waste taxpayers’ money on a sound system. This guy has his own gear. The new Chief of Staff also runs a DJ company. They’ve even hosted tailgate parties before football games outside the Rogers Centre.

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5. A DJ probably has experience dealing with some guy who’s wasted and acting like a little kid.

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4. All those protesters outside City Hall can be a distraction. Just crank up the bass and it’ll drown out the megaphones. Those chants could use a better beat anyway.

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3. When a DJ feels the energy fading, he knows how to build it back up. Don’t be surprised if instead of leaving work at 3 pm The Mayor keeps going well into the night.

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2. These days Toronto City Hall is a powder keg, and no doubt the stress levels are peaking. Who better than a DJ to get a person’s mind off the stress and help them unwinde?

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1. A DJ doesn’t care what your politics are. Everyone is the same on the dance floor and a DJ has just one goal: make the party excellent.

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